Random Things Overheard at College

Monday, April 20, 2009

"I really miss my ex when I'm not getting any."

I'm gonna f***ing piss on you!

Cars! I've got cars in my pants! (in a sing song voice)

"And now she wears diapers. I mean, it's really all your fault... well, I guess he was the one to get her pregnant."

"Like... I want to s*** in my mouth. Maybe that just me but..."

"So I hooked up with this guy last night but don't worry it doesn't make my count go up. We already hooked up last year."

"My friend had testicular cancer. Don't worry it was okay, they just chopped a ball off. So for a present I bought him a package of uniball pens."

"You really shouldn't go down on yourself... I mean get down on yourself!"

"I know it's weird... I'm used to him blowing me up every five minutes."

You know, if it wasn't for the vending machines, I wouldn't even be here at school."